Week 2

I know... after a long break from no posts, you would much rather see pictures and videos than have me write more, but the Lord calls us to remember the things He has done for us, and I find this blog as a way to do that, so I want to write a little first.

Week 1 was a joyous time with little hootie. Definite bumps, but still much of the time it felt like it was smooth sailing, as we figured out life with our little family. As some of you know, this quickly changed at the very start of Kaylee's second week of life. Monday night, I "happened" to notice something different on me and in Kaylee's mouth. I quickly called my lactation consultant, who was a gift sent to us during the first week, to ask her if she thought we had thrush. She is a wonderful lady who loves to help any time of day, which has been an answer to prayer on a number of occassions. After talking with her for just a few minutes, she was adamant that Kaylee and I go to the doctor FIRST thing in the morning. She said thrush is easy to treat but she wanted us to get it diagnosed and treated quickly. So... the Lord provided an appointment, and the next morning, we got up to head to the clinic. Once I was up, I began feeling EXTREMELY nauseous and dizzy, to the point that I had to run to find a place to lie down in the middle of a diaper change.

Fortunately, we made it to the clinic, and were just about to see the doctor about the thrush, when I began blacking out. Nurses and doctors were right there, ready to care for me. I faint somewhat often so it wasn't too alarming, but this time, it felt different. I couldn't shake it. In fact, I just continued to decline and decline. Within an hour, I was fading in and out, unable to walk and limited in my ability to talk. They transferred me to a flight med doc who started me on an IV and ordered blood work and an EKG. The IV took a while to get started, and in this time period, I lost even more strength, to the point that I was only able to utter a few words at a time. Yet, even though my voice was weak, I could sing. I sang and sang to my God, praising Him and trusting Him in this valley. Each song that came to mind reminded me more and more of the Lord's comfort and care. Eventually, I stopped singing, and I got to the point that each time I closed my eyes, it felt as though I was going away, like my body was shutting down. So Brandon helped me keep my eyes open as we prayed and talked about God's goodness. Even though I felt the need to say goodbye to my precious girl and amazing husband, God gave me COMPLETE peace during that time. His assurance that He is in control was SO REAL. I can't even describe it. As all this was happening, God showed Himself in unimaginable ways; through loving people to care for me and my family, through keeping Kaylee asleep/content during the entire 7 hours that I was in the hospital, through songs and Scripture that came to mind, through little bits of wisdom nonchalantly passed on by those in the hospital, through phone calls, through Sgt Baker, through Col Wadell, through Lt Hanes, through Lt Dannavek, through countless other ways, many of which are already sadly fading from my memory. NEVER in my life have I seen God SO CLEARLY orchestrate each little thing.

 I definitely cannot communicate all the details that have fit together so perfectly (not smoothly or easily, but perfectly) this past week, but there is no way in my mind that all the intricate pieces that have come together happened by coincidence. People speak of how they do not understand how individuals can look at creation and say there is no God, that it all happened by chance. I agree that creation speaks loudly of the Lord and His miraculous hand. Yet, even without that, the ways that He has worked in our life these past two weeks, have made me 100% aware that we have a miraculous God who is sovereign over all. I have been assured that this God, the one true God, is a God who loves and cares and answers the prayers of those who seek Him; not always in the way we wanted or time we would like or expect. Yet, nonetheless, He has been faithful to His promises to give wisdom, peace, comfort, and grace when our eyes are fixed on Him.

Well... I don't have any crazy diagnosis after all this dramatic jazz. From all the tests, the only thing they could find was that I was extremely dehydrated. Since the clinic closed at 4, they finished off my second IV, set me up with a good plan for home, and said to go to the ER if I declined in the night. I have continued to struggle with regaining my strength and staying on top of caring for my bodies increased needs, but each day seems to be better. I have really appreciated the words of wisdom from a dear friend regarding this stage in life. She told me, "There are good moments and bad moments, but don't count on good days." Each day has rough moments for sure, but we gotta try to embrace the good and the bad, and take each of moment before the Lord. This past week has definitely been one of the hardest weeks of my life, but God was so, so good through it all. During my time of sickness, I was so reminded of the fallen and broken world we live in. Sin has brought in so much yuck. Sickness and death are a very real thing, but oh, am I thankful, that we have a HOLY, REDEEMING God.

To God be the glory